Prognosticating and pontificating the start of the NFL season
A lot to look forward to on the first Sunday of the 2022 NFL season, will the Colts win their first week one matchup since 2013? Can Justin Fields take the next step?
The sports media world is full of narratives, mythologies, and strongly argued theories from well-paid talking bloviating talking-heads, supported by nothing more than confidence and bravado which in turn end up parroted and parodied by tweeters, redditors and fans with podcasts who possess neither of these things.
Here are some really boring narratives, predictions and hot-takes that came to mind and deserved a place here because it's my website and my platform to bloviate on, dammit:
1. Matt Ryan gets picked off four times, leads the Colts to their first season opening vicory since the Obama administration anyway
Let's start with my hometeam, the Colts; current holders of the "QB Karma" award, given to teams who benefitted from a literal generation of generational QB talent, Curtis Painter'd their way into a worthy successor, only for said successor to retire after an injury-plagued career and then start a new quarterback every year for the next five years. A troubling trend indeed for a team that otherwise has enough pieces to remain in the conversation as playoff contenders but a team that also hasn't won their season-opening matchup since 2013.
My Take: For the 2022 Colts to enter the season and announce to the rest of the league "we're still here" the team has to come out win week one in convincing fashion against an irrelevant division opponent on the road in Houston. Texans 10-Colts 21 thanks to Matt Ryan possessing the remarkable ability to do what Carson Wentz could not: Check the ball down. Tune in come week 10 to find out if that becomes a liability or not for the Colts since Ryan doesn't have anyone to throw the ball to other than Michael Pittman and the Texans defense.
2. Trubisky, Fields come out hot, Bears fire Matt Nagy a second time
I haven't watched enough tape to tell you what the mechanical similarities are between Justin Fields and Mitch Trubisky. There's probably enough on Youtube for you to 'do your own research'. What I have watched, however, simply because I live in Chicago are entirely too many Bears games, and I can say with confidence this much:
If Fields and Trubisky play well enough to enter the conversation of "improving quarterbacks", and continue their upward trajectories under new coaches in 2022, the Chicago Bears should just go ahead and fire Matt Nagy for a second time, and possibly even pursue malpractice claims against Ryan Pace for hiring him to begin with.
My take: Fields: 300+ all purpose yards, 3 TDs; Trubisky: 250+ AP yards, 1 TD, 1 titty kissed.
3. Baker makes good and fucks up Cleveland
Yes I wrote about this already, yes I'm double dipping on content, yes I still want to see Cleveland get absolutely clowned.
My Take: Cleveland can go to hell.
4. After going up by 400, Packers replace kicker Mason Crosby with celebrity doppelgänger Timothy Olyphant at half-Time, nobody notices
That's it.
That's the take.